Everything Wrong with Winnie the Pooh
Now,when I was very little, I used to read Winnie the Pooh by A. A. Milne (or was it Maurice Sendak?). Now, it’s cute and all, what with Winnie making friends with Piglet, but there are some things that are very – unrealistic – about it. Now, I’m not going to list all of the stuff everyone else says, so it’s not explicit. Now, encore!
Winnie the Pooh – what is a Pooh? Is it a dresser drawer brand, a type of frog, or what, because a Pooh is clearly not a synonym for “stuffed bear thingy”.
As everyone knows, Eeyore has depression. Severe depression.
Piglet is cute and all, my brother’s favorite character, but seriously? Why does he have pink stripes on his belly? Why does he have rabbit ears? Why are his legs little floppy sausages and why does he walk on his hind legs? I think Piglet s the most questionable character in the series.
What I want to know is, also, why do Roo and Pooh wear sweaters if everyone else runs around in the nude (like Frosty the Snowman)?
Does Christopher Robin have parents?
Exactly what is a Heffalump?, I ask, because that thing just looks like a mutant stuffed animal to me.
And that, my good friends, is Everything Wrong with Winnie the Pooh.